Sunday, March 21, 2010

Call CPS, I let my child cry

Sorry for sharing the cord story in my previous post.  I know I freaked out both sets of grandparents, and I couldn't sleep last night because I was literally sick just thinking about what could have happened - I think I finally fell asleep around 4am.  Thank You, Lord, that nothing happened to our beautiful daughter.  I'm going to move on now and try not to ever think about it again. 


My baby went down at 8pm without a peep.  This makes me so very happy.  Mainly because bedtime lately has been an absolute chore.  I pity the women who think they must rock their children every night until they are fast asleep and refuse to let their child cry even a little.  Especially if they had a child like mine who just hated bedtime and didn't want anything to do with her crib or anything to do with me since my end goal was to put her in the crib and she knew it.  The only person she wanted at bedtime was Daddy, and that's because she knew Daddy wouldn't try to force feed her a pacifier and pin her to his chest while humming "You Are My Sunshine" and attempting to release calming energy. 

Our routine at night goes a little something like this:

1.  TV goes off, then she gets a bottle (4 oz, sometimes 6 oz)

2.  Oatmeal mixed with fruit and water or formula, nuked to a perfect 98°, then some cold fruit puree spooned on top (she loves this.  If your baby won't eat his/her oatmeal one night, try adding some cold fruit puree with each bite).
3.  I strip her down and wipe her with a warm washcloth and a dab of Baby Magic lavender calming lotion.

4.  Diaper change & jammies
5.  To the nursery for storytime and pacifier with Mom (Amelia gets the pacifier) by lamplight.

6.  Rocking with Mom in the glider for 2-3 minutes, then an "I love you", "Sleep through the night", and "Nite nite" from Mom.

7.  Bedtime

Usually at step #5 she starts whining the second I cross the threshold to her room.  The book helps to distract her and by the time I'm finished reading the story, she's rubbing her eyes and will willingly lay on my shoulder.  Laying her down is iffy.  Sometimes she won't fight it, she'll just curl up in a little ball and go to sleep but she'll wake up crying an hour or two later.  Other nights, she doesn't even let me lay her down - she sits right up and begins protest.  Either way, I leave the room.  Our mistake has been to go back in the room after about 30 minutes of whining/crying.  We pick her up thinking,  Maybe this one night...

...her teeth are hurting.
...she has a poopy diaper.
...she's still hungry.
...she will go to sleep if I try rocking her again.
or, my favorite...
...she's scared of the dark.

After offering to fix all of the above and getting completely rejected and totally frustrated, we've been known to walk her into the hallway or into our bedroom just to see what happens.  Crying stops.  Actually, the crying turns off like a light the second David holds her because, as I said before, she knows he isn't going to try to get her to sleep.  We have felt like genuine suckers every single time.  It got to the point that I would get mad at myself for thinking I could rock her to sleep...she fought me hard, no matter what.  I don't even remember the last time she even got drowsy by my rocking her.  It's more stressful to go into her room when she's throwing a fit than it is to just let her cry.  That might sound weird or stupid to some of you, but it's the truth.  Knowing the battle that awaits on the other side of that door really helps us to know that it's not worth the trouble.  If she were at all comforted by us then it would probably be a different story, but she wants nothing to do with us unless we're going to let her stay up.

So, we've let her cry the last couple of nights, no exceptions.  For naps, too.  We've even gotten good at figuring out when she has a poopy diaper.  If she's whining then goes radio silent for about 10 minutes then starts really crying, she pooped.  David called it today during her nap so we changed her (boy, it was a doozy - all up her back) and back down she went.

Tonight, it was too good to be true that I laid her down and she went right to sleep.  David thought she'd for sure be awake an hour later, but here it is 3 hours later and not a peep.  Apparently she just didn't like bedtime.  It was such a frustrating experience until we figured out that nothing was wrong with her and if we leave her alone and stop catering to her every whimper she'd realize that bedtime is nothing she needs to be rescued from and being overtired and wired and forcing herself to stay awake is far more stressful and taxing than just succumbing to sleep.

It's been one night - I'm not going to throw a ticker tape parade quite yet.  Especially since Amelia and I will be going to Portland this weekend.  Anything could happen when she has to sleep away from home.

Don't forget about my giveaway on my Millie's Bows Facebook Fan Page.  Already over 225 fans - I can't believe it!

Happy Monday!

2 comments commented:

Rebecca Ramsey said...

Yey! I'm so glad you had a good night!
And bless your heart on the previous blog post! I hope you've pampered yourself a little and comforted yourself a bit. Parenting can be so scary.
Hugs to you!

Tami said...

Love your blog. I am passing on the Sunshine award to you.

I am right with you on the put the baby to bed and let her fall asleep on her own.